Monday, November 28, 2011

Penn State Shuts Down Season in Lieu of Sandusky Fallout (In My Dreams)

By Adam Maher

Penn State should have shut down their football program the second the Sandusky news broke out.

But what about the people whose lives depend on selling hot dogs at the stadiums? It's a 50 million dollar-a-year business!

So it's cool to shut down two professional leagues, forgetting about the people's lives who depend on ticket sales and local businesses when arguing about money (NBA and NFL), but not a college football program with coaches who rape their players?

Triple headers on Christmas, NBA? How about giving head to a 12-year-old after practice?


What are we doing, America? Are we really this dependent on scoreboards and team/school pride?

Sandusky might get the Lord Voldemort treatment in some
circles, but not here. Call us Harry.

Sports are supposed to distract us from everyday political, business, and family issues - not cause them...

We should just shut down the entire country for a whole week. Everyone, just stay in your homes, shut your doors, turn off your cell phones, turn off your X-Box live, you're all on time-out. Sort of like the opposite of when the Ivory Cost halted a civil war to watch Drogba lose the World Cup.

But that wouldn't be the American way. We must carry on so other American lives aren't negatively affected. 

The third line from that story states, "Recent news stories about the Penn State sexual abuse scandal and most recently, Syracuse University, have eclipsed the troubles the Catholic church has had regarding the same problem."

This is what Dakota means by eclipse:

Thanks, Bob Lee.

"Started when he was 12."

"Thanks, Bernie," The Pope sighs.

And just when America's sweetheart has the chance to address the Sandusky problem, days after the molestation charges/incident was made public, he decides to completely ignore it by ranting about NFL celebrations:

"Obnoxious self indulgence," he eclipses.

I'm pretty sure raping 11-year-old football players at Sandusky's camp is more obnoxious and self indulgent than celebrating a life-long achievement! The ignoration's not Bob's fault, though. He probably wouldn't have been allowed to discuss the Penn State tragedy even if he wanted to.

Answer this, NBC, and I'm really not trying to antagonize anyone here: are you trying to brainwash us? And, do you think that the American people would rather be communist than address the biggest scandal in American sports history? Sorry if that sounded like it came from a fourth-grader on Facebook, but seriously!

NFL players who celebrate are practicing their given rights to individualism within the laws of this country. By constraining NFL players to hold back their celebrations, the NFL is practicing its constitutional right to assemble or associate, yes, but it's still the players' right to ignore their fines. And by the way, Plaxico scored the game winning touchdown after Stevie Johnson mocked him - I'd say that makes for good ratings.

Meanwhile, Bob Costas sounds like Mao circa 1940. The NFL-NBC partnership his Iron Curtain!

Where are the interviews and monologues America deserves to see?

Interviews from Ex-Penn State players currently in the NFL who devoted "years of their lives" to learning the morals of Jerry Sandusky, the worst raper I've ever heard of. There are plenty.

Maybe it's up to me to address and talk openly about all the facts of the Sandusky case - if only I had the time. I'll write a book about this one day. But for now this will do: I've said it in person and I'll write it here forever to stay: Penn State failed the American people by not ending their season the day the Sandusky news went public. Story to come.

Stevie Johnson would make a great pirate name, no?

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